PGD HOF Week 2: The Times That Try Men's Souls

I hate fantasy

Sep 19, 2023

It makes sense that TS Eliot would write, 102 years ago, that “April is the cruelest month” – he never had to play September fantasy. Latest and greatest from week 2 of this wretched accountancy.

Hall of Fame

Randy’s Reforms – offense popped like an Achilles on MetLife turf this week. Avg PF was an awesome 117pts. Call me Dr. ElAttrache.
Petrella’s THICC Bois who smoked that DiFo Pack to the tune of 168pts. Leaders: TJ Hockenson Thought on Fantasy with Minnesota Characteristics for a New Era with 22pts, Keenan Allen and Brian “50 Cent” Robinson Jr putting up a pedestrian 27pts, and the largely overlooked (has anyone watched this LB Micah Parsons?) Dallas D/ST, good for 16pts.
AI might actually be cool if it can produce “TJ Hockenson in Maoist uniform” for me
Giants rookie WR Jalin Hyatt turned their game against the Desert Dobbs squad around with 2 catches for 89 yards, good for 9.9pts and something like WR40. Rams rookie WR Puka Nacua went Sicko Mode for 15 catches and 147 yards, good for 22.6pts and WR5 status.
Your 2-0 Washington Commanders!

Hall of Shame

Nick Chubb’s knee – “This Happened to My Buddy Eric”
I left Jalin Hyatt on the bench :(

Week 2 Recap

Cream of the crop rises – THICC Bois, Devonta’s Inferno, SKOLvid-19, and Team kalish are 2-0 to start the young season. Petrella also leads in PF, no surprise, and I lead in Points Against – no surprise there either!

The Philly-Minnesota game Thursday was a banger both on the field and in the spreadsheets. D’Andre Swift topped the depth chart with 25.6pts and Devonta Smith finished as WR6 with 21.1pts. Kirk “1 Chain” Cousins popped off for 28.5pts and the performance of their TE has already been memorialized by the imperial historians.

Closest game ended in Salomon squeaked by Larson to the tune of 112-105, with the undersung Zach Moss racking up 18pts after his QB woke up in the end zone not knowing who the Secretary of Agriculture was. Larson’s Garret-Deebo-Terry wagon combined for 48 WR pts but was sunk by Breece Hall running into the demolition derby in Dallas.

Honorable mention to Veasey’s TB D/ST which came out swingin! with 20pts against the anemic Chicago offense: poor Justin Fields. Danny Dimes’ historic comeback was good enough to make him QB1 with 30pts, helpful but not sufficient for Levinthal to overcome Broviak’s full-court press.